Weekly Writing Challenge: I wish I were

(I hope it’s not too late to participate in the weekly writing challenge.)

           If you ask me about the happiest part of my life so far, I will offer you one single answer, my high school life.

           I did enjoy my High School life. I did relish every single moment of it. That every time the memories will flashback, it will give me an immensely smirk on my face. It is where I experienced almost all the “first time” – first sleepless night, first hang-out with my friends, first overnight on my classmate’s crib, first crush, first heartbreak, first major fight with friends etc. And this is where I met the best people in my life – my authentic set of friends and my great mentor. 🙂

            However, I wish I were able to balance the enjoyment and my dream when I was there. I wish I were able to focus on my chosen path and my future career. And I wish I were able to take my next step seriously.

            I wish I were a freewheeling student yet driven and hardworking.

            Here in the Philippines, everyone’s dream is to be accepted on the Prestigious University of the Philippines. I was part of those hopefuls desiring to get the limited spot. I really wanted to get there; however, I felt that I didn’t give my entire effort to fulfil that dream. I didn’t take my schooling seriously when I was in my Third year High School. All I did is enjoying the moments with my friends, enjoying all the extra-curricular activities I’m part of without even bothering that my academic standing was drowning.

             It got worse as I reached my senior year. It was the time that I learned to skip classes and chose to prioritize my extra-curricular activities than my academics. It really came to the point that my academic standing was really dying.

              So as the entrance examination for my dream school approached, I made a little review. I thought that what I learned from my science-oriented school was all enough. I didn’t even enrol myself on a review center. I just trusted mostly on my stock knowledge.

             So to cut the long story short, I failed to pass on my chosen campus. My score passed on the other campuses, but not on my dream campus. I was greatly discouraged that time especially that most of my classmates were able to pass on their chosen campus. I cried that time to God realizing that I wasted the opportunity and the time.

             If I had just taken my dream seriously, I could have passed it. I could have studied there. Yes, I did regret it. I wish I had managed to enjoy my high school life and my studies.

             But of course, my life would not end after a failure. God has just made His plan smoothly.

            I’m currently studying on a state university where I’ve known God ultimately. If I am not here, I wouldn’t have this such relationship with God right now. I would not be this person I am today.

           I believe God has a plan on everything. He has His own reason why he let it happened to me. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 27:11

          I did regret at first, but now, I finally understand God’s purpose on my life. I believe testing produces character. So I would never ever question and interfere on God’s plan for my future.

          Besides, what matters is the learning behind your failure. I learned to focus more on my studies. I establish “excellency” on my study habit. And most importantly, I now walked with light.

           Hence, my failure became a blessing in disguise. 

       (The opportunity on entering on my dream school hasn’t barred, and I’m right now undergoing certain decision-making about it. But whatever the outcome is, I believe if it’s the Lord’s will, let it be done)  

            God bless everyone! 

Much Love, 
Amae ❤

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